April 24, 2008...1:51 pm
#1 - LA Quad
Everyone has that central meeting place at home, whether it be the 7/11, Starbucks, or the Starbucks inside the 7/11 - usually centrally located between all parties - where people meet before heading to their destination. For AU people - regardless of where they actually live - that place is the LA Quad. No, we aren’t talking about the Los Angeles Quad (although some AU people may have been rejected by UCLA so it serves as a constant reminder of their failture). Instead, we are refering to the Letts-Anderson Quad. That’s right, the large open-aired courtyard where AU people like to be seen smoking, lounging, eating and most importantly, socializing.
AU people inhabit the LA Quad at all hours of the day and night, except in the very early morning - when all the insomniacs head inside, passing by the Desk Receptionist who more than likely is perusing drunk photos from last night’s passerbiers, waiting for the walk-of-shamers to head back to North Side before their 8:30s. Sometimes the LA Quad is eerily quiet because AU people love to watch Grey’s Anatomy or listen to Martin Sheen speak in Bender Arena. But other times, it can be one helluva party. AU people love to smoke houkah, play cards, try to steal public safety’s new motor scooters, enjoy a good drink, and anything else that ensures they will be up all night complaining about that stupid paper that’s due at 9:55 tomorrow, even though they have had six weeks to do it.
Somtimes the LA Quad provides vivid entertainment. Due to the quadrangular shape of the LA Quad, one AU person in Letts can glance across to view another AU person, or persons, in Anderson, in their steamiest moments. Most AU people have only ever lived under their parent’s roof so the ability to a) have guests over for an evening of fun or b) watch other people have guests over for an evening of fun is a true college experience. Since most AU people never had to close their curtains before (or they’re just too drunk to care) the LA Quad provides quite an opportunity for many poor college student to save hundreds of dollars by canceling that subscription to Playboy, Girls Gone Wild and Xtube.com.
One important ritual of the LA Quad is the hellish Greek chanting at 3am. Despite only being 18% of the student population, these AU people sometimes wake 100% of the population with call-outs, sorority and fraternity chants, and of course, the occasional rift. While some AU people detest the obnoxious amount of noise in the LA Quad, especially on the weekends, not one would dare moving to North Side in order to get a good night’s sleep. AU people would rather stay up late socializing in the LA Quad and only get four hours of sleep, instead of giving up the mecca of social interaction on campus by moving away from South Side.
The most practical purpose of the LA Quad is that AU people love to meet their friends before venturing on the three minute journey to the Tavern or TDR, ensuring they don’t get caught alone walking through the most judgmental place on campus: the first floor of MGC. Since most AU people live in Anderson, Centennial or Letts, it is a very convienent place to chill while waiting for your friend to finish up his shift at Phoneathon or wait to see that special someone who caught your eye at the highlighter party last Saturday (While North Siders have that amphitheater, they brag when another AU person invites them to the LA Quad, on a temporary basis, of course).
But one of the most important functions of the LA Quad, especially for former dorm residents who need quick access into their former dwellings, is that it provides an excellent opportunity for AU people to sneak back into the dorms undetected. Most AU people hang around the steps, pretending to be talking to their friend about some homework assignment that clearly doesn’t exist, waiting for a large group of freshmen returning to the dorms after an unfulfilling meal at TDR. While it is sometimes necessary to tag along with these freshmen as they reenter their “homes” it is quite easy for an AU person to ditch them in order to visit an ex, do laundry or flyer the stairway with ads for Rooftop at Five tonight.
Note: While some AU people live on North Side and thus have the amphitheater, should they begin talking about meeting up there or picking up their latest hook up there, it is absolutely acceptable to interrupt and begin talking about how cool it is to watch paint dry because all AU people know that the amphitheater has nothing on the LA Quad.
3 Comments
April 24, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Thanks for making this blog. I’m looking forward to reading more posts!
April 24, 2008 at 3:08 pm
This blog is in no way accurate nor is it funny.
April 24, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Tighten up your writing kid. You don’t need 1000 words when 200 suffice. Cutting will also ensure you keep the funny and cut the fluff. Finally, keep at it… it’s the only way you’ll get better.
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